50 Things not to do at Hogwarts
by bruski2012
Summary: Harry and friends make a list of things you should never do at Hogwarts.
1. Prologue

Prologue:

Harry Potter was very bored. He was thinking of something to do when he heard giggling. He decided to check it out. Two redheaded twins were surrounding a parer titled _50 Thing Not to do at Hogwarts._ He had an idea. A brilliant idea. "I want in," he said bluntly. Fred was starting to protest when George stood up for him. "He could help us with the list." They spoke privately in hushed tones for a second, when the decided to let me in on it. This was going to be good.


	2. Chapter 1

**1. Never give the twins firecrackers.**

Hermione was on her way to the library when she heard a loud pop. This was not an ordinary pop, for it left her ears ringing. After peering around the corner, she witnessed a mortifying sight. Fred and George had gotten a hold of muggle firecrackers. This was not even the worst part. They had given a few to Peeves, who used a few of them to leave one particular potions professor with singed hair. Snape was most likely scarred for life, considering he was rocking back and forth, holding his knees. Hermione decided that it was best to leave him, and found a different route to the library. Nobody had seen Snape after that incident, and many wondered where their professor had gone. He was replaced with a new professor named Professor Slughorn, and everyone continued to live their lives as usual. The only living person who knows the full story is Hermione Granger, and she will never tell a soul about what Peeves did to Snape with only a single firecracker.

**2. Never show Ron _Gangnam Style_.**

Ginny did not know what to expect when she walked into the Gryffindor common room. Whatever she was expecting, it wasn't this. Ron was chasing everyone around while dancing like a deranged horse. A tiny first year wearing all red was doing this, but it was okay because he was an Asian with serious moves. But Ron? That is just downright disturbing. The only thing worse than his dancing was the voice of the Korean dude in the song that blared all through Gryffindor house. I haven't been this disturbed since my Aunt Martha forgot a swimsuit and went all natural. I scurried up to the girls' dormitory, trying to erase that memory from my mind. Why did Ron have to learn Gangnam Style?

**3. Fang is NOT meant to be used to be a pony.**

While Hagrid was off visiting his dragon, he left Harry, Ron and Hermione to take care of Fang. If you didn't know already, Fang is Hagrid's 600 pound dog. Don't let the name fool you though. Fang is a big old baby. I had a fantastic idea. What if we rode Fang? Ron was all for it, but Hermione was a little harder to convince. Eventually we wore her down and all she said was, "Don't come crying to me when you fall off and break your neck." Ron called dibs on riding Fang first. To put it simply: he fell. The two words Bloody Hell rang through the grounds of Hogwarts as he staggered to his feet. One tip of advice: Never try to ride a giant dog, even if it seems like a good idea.

**4. Do not let Luna hear her nickname.**

Luna was pissed. She had heard "Loony Luna" being whispered down the corridor after she told off Draco and told him that sneevels do exist, and he could read all about it in the _Quibbler. _They didn't even have the respect to say it to their face. A smart-ass sixth year decided it would be hilarious to say, "Loony Luna is about to blow." I turned him into a sneevels. That showed them. They will never call Luna Looney ever again.

**5. It isn't cool to dress up as Harry Potter for Halloween. Especially not at Hogwarts.**

Everywhere Harry turned it seemed to be like he was looking in the mirror. The reason for that was because everybody wanted to be me for Halloween. There were hundreds of people with fake scars and round glasses wandering the halls of Hogwarts. Nobody had a real reason why. Maybe it was a joke, or possibly it was because they idolized the boy who lived. Whatever the reason, Harry was mad. These people were imposter Harrys. It seemed as if the only people not dressed like him were his best friends and his worst enemies. He was sick of it. Anybody who was dressed like him for this cursed holiday was hexed. It was a simple hex to just make people stop dressing like him. He dressed them as Barbie's. Unless you would like to be dressed like Barbie, I would recommend thinking of a creative costume, and that just means don't be Harry.


End file.
